Peace takers and Grief: Why are we unhappy?

Throughout my life, I have pondered one thing mainly. And that is- why are we unhappy? By 'we', I suppose all humans collectively. We always associate the idea of happiness with the 'if' clause. Very often I have heard things like, I would be happy if I had a million dollars, I would be happy if I led a lavish life, I would be happy if there were no problems, I would be happy if there were no exams, blah blah blah etc. etc. you know what I mean. These thought patterns lead the thinker into a toxic situation, getting out of which is a gargantuan trouble.

From my short and sweet experience of the things life had thrown at me, I have drawn out a list of a few peace-takers. These 'peace-takers', as the term suggests take away one's peace of mind and harmony. Like the babadook, they keep haunting you 24*7. Without a doubt, these peace takers can be christened as the trespassers of  privacy. Let’s take a look at the 'trespassers' in this article, “Peace takers and Grief: Why are we unhappy?”

Peace takers and Grief: Why are we unhappy?

There have been many notions about finding happiness. Unfortunately, some of them are so complex and mind boggling. Some tell that happiness is sought within. Some others say that happiness is a choice. And few others say that it is nothing but a state of mind. We have also been told that, it is our thoughts that cause either happiness or grief. Let's keep all theories aside and just for a moment, think  about the last time when you were the happiest and the reason that made you happy. This could be different for different people. And that is because we all are different and so are our lives. 

Toxicity has made it's way into our lives. We seek for love and care from others rather than seeking it within. We depend on our partners, friends, better halves, etc for love and to 'feel good' about ourselves. It even feels so pleasant and divine for the time being. But, once you get into this abyss, it paves way for insecurity, trust issues, unhappiness, etc. When we depend too much on someone else for our happiness, we eventually lose ourselves and prioritize the other person more than ourselves. Every little thing that other person does would either make you too happy or too dejected. 

This, is totally unhealthy. For, we get addicted to that person emotionally. Apparently, addiction as we know, is always bad. And once you lose that person who means so much to you, the reaction in your brain is similar to that of physical pain. It's hell. 

Toxic patterns wreck you from within thus harming your physical and mental health. It culminates into anxiety, fatigue, depression, stress, intestinal troubles, digestive troubles, diabetes, etc. as everything is intertwined. 

Therefore, we must learn to be adequate with ourselves. By this I don't suggest you to be alone. It's all about finding the balance. Love yourself primarily, only then will there be enough room to shower your love on others. 

Here's another addition to our list of 'peace-takers', and that is - not being able to accept the truth. Yes, you read it right. Sometimes, things happen in our lives that are just so hard to grasp. We find it extremely difficult to accept the truth. Things like betrayal, loss of a loved one top the list. 

Truth is always bitter. Perhaps, that's the primary reason why it is so hard to accept. Truth is something that can't stay hidden for long. According to the nature's law, it has to come out. And when it does, it's painful, and heart wrenching. But, truth is truth. And what's already done can't be altered. So you have two choices either you accept the truth or you suffer. So, it's best if you stop playing hide and seek with the truth and accept it, as it is, not according to your inconvenience. Undoubtedly, it is writhing. But, at least a huge burden would be lifted off of you. As the popular adage goes, 'time heals all wounds'. 

Swiftly topping the list of peace takers is guilt. This one's a no brainer. All of us have been there and seen it. Very frequently do we get lost in thoughts about the mistakes we made, thinking how they could have been undone or done in a different fashion. To make peace with yourself, (regarding this peace taker) primarily, you need to accept the fact that you are a human being and it is quite normal for a human being to make mistakes. Once you are done with the acceptance part, say to yourself that every aspect of life, good or bad, is an experience. Cherish the good ones and learn from the negative ones. 

There's yet another reason why we lack peace and that is- not being content. We are never satisfied with we already possess. We're just obsessed with 'more'. We crave 'more'. Adequacy never satiates our greed. As long as there's balance in life everything turns out just fine. Troubles arise when you lose your balance. 

As rightly stated by William Penn, "The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves". You will be your own torture as long as you keep whining about happiness and good fortune of others. Instead of being jealous of someone, learn to appreciate them. Replace those gloom-ridden, defeatist thoughts by genuine appreciation. There's a rigid dichotomy between flattery and appreciation. Make sure that you are on the right side. As rightly stated by the connoisseur of English drama, Shakespeare, "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none". 

There's loads of stuff in this world that's beyond the ken of human knowledge. There have been many theories about Reincarnations, past lives, life after death, etc. But the thing is, we don't know if they really exist or it's all just kibosh. But, we do know that, we got this life to live. And there's only one shot at it. Why not make the most of it?

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