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| How to stop overthinking? |
How To Stop Over-Thinking? Effective ways to deal with overthinking?
"Overthinking is parasitic. It's viral. It's deadly, even. Letting yourself fall victim to overthinking doesn't just kill your happiness, it destroys who you are. The mind is a beautiful and complex thing, and the only person who can hurt it is only yourself" quoted Genereux Philip. Overthinking robs us of our peace in the present moment, trapping us in the pain or regret of the past or keeping us focused on the future.In this article, 'How to stop overthinking? 9 ways to deal with overthinking', we shall examine why we tend to overthink and how is it bad for our mental health. We shall also look into several ways to stop overthinking.
Fear can lead to irrational thinking, keeping us
focused on an uncertain future. Overthinking can be caused by "What
if..." statements, worrying about uncertain outcomes or the past. Although it is
pretty common for every one of us to occasionally overthink something, there
are many people out there that have a habit of doing so. And in this process,
they lose out on all the fun. You must have heard many people saying that they
tend to overthink things and end up ruining them.
Why
do we overthink?
Overthinking happens when we are having doubts or fears about something in the future, or regrets and concern about how something was handled in the past. There are various reasons why people overthink it has a lot to do with anxiety. People think that by overthinking a situation such as a conversation they had or an action they took, they might feel better about what happened, make sense out of it. For example, maybe you are interested in someone and say something. You then spend the next 2 days overthinking what you said, asking yourself "ugh, why did I say that? Why couldn't I have said this instead?" The goal is to feel better and less anxious about what you said. But the irony of it all is that the more you overthink, the MORE anxious you become!
According to Psychotherapist Ruthie Kalai, overthinking is a way to try to exert
control over a situation, especially a situation that has not yet occurred.
Here's another example: you're scheduled to have your annual review with your
boss tomorrow, so you stay up all night overthinking the conversation. In your
mind, you think that overthinking will help you prepare for what might
happen so that it won't be so upsetting or devastating. However, what tends to
happen is that you assume the worst-case scenario...everything that could go
wrong. The more you overthink these worst-case scenarios, the more anxious you
become. It becomes this horribly vicious circle that's really hard to get out
of. Here's the harsh reality though: no amount of overthinking a situation can control any of the outcomes.
Overthinking is a common
symptom of a number of mental disorders, but many people who don’t meet
criteria for a diagnosis also overthink as a response to stressful life events
or difficult decisions. When life circumstances overwhelm an individual’s
capacity to cope, they use psychological mechanisms to reduce the pain
they feel, even if those tools aren’t the most effective. One way that people can escape the discomfort of their experience is to stay in the thinking realm,
which is less painful than feeling the emotional or even physical pang of
grief, fear, or anger.
There's yet another reason for overthinking. And that is insecurity- lack of assurance or self-doubt. We’re insecure. We don’t feel secure in an area of our lives - career, education, relationships - so we overthink in search of security.
Why is overthinking harmful?
Overthinking directly contributes to our anxiety. The more we do it, the
more anxious we become. The more anxious we become, the more we try to
overthink to figure out how to get out of feeling this way. Thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations all
influence one another. "Anxious states create more anxious thoughts and anxious
thoughts create more elevated anxious states. When an individual is unconscious
of this cycle or lacks the tools to break it, the cycle intensifies over time
and becomes more habitual” stated Natalie
Moore, an L.A.-based therapist.
When we overthink we tend to focus on past experiences and
future anxieties, neither of which are grounded in our present moment. That
anxiety puts us in our sympathetic nervous system, which is the fight or flight
part of our nervous system. Staying in that anxious state of being can damage your physical health and lead to rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure, difficulty
sleeping, and more.
Overthinking can kill your brain cells and you couldn't concentrate on
one thing at a time. Thousands of thoughts run in your mind and you
forget the present moment. Rumination has been found to increase stress levels,
extend negative mood which interferes with effective problem solving, and
contribute to the development and maintenance of depression, anxiety, and
insomnia
How to stop overthinking?
It's common to want to blame another person for feeling the way you do,
but in fact, the cause of the emotional reaction is your own
perspective. The cause of your emotional reaction is not outside of yourself. It is entirely within your control to change. “Step out of the drama triangle and take responsibility. We all face some different problems in our lives and assume ourselves the victim. We can either be with the mercy
of our thoughts and allow them to waste our time and energy, or take charge and
be the master of our minds. Instead of acting like a victim of circumstances one should become self-aware and take responsibility” quoted Brack Nelson, Marketing Manager
of Incrementors SEO Services.
This is done through
mindfulness and somatic (body-based) practices like bringing awareness to
physical sensations, deepening the breath, giving oneself deep pressure,
getting the body moving, or listening to soothing music, to name a few. The
trick here is to make these mind/body practices an ongoing habit so one can
retrain their mind toward self-soothing whenever overthinking is detected. Just
like the mind got into the habit of overthinking to escape pain, it needs to
get into the habit of restoring calm to the body with mindfulness.
The primal step in stopping these overthinking behaviors is first,
recognize that it's happening. It's really difficult to stop something if you
don't realize it's occurring. The next step is to accept the fact that no
amount of overthinking (or overanalyzing for that matter) will control the
outcome because there absolutely is no way to control an outcome! There also is no
way to redo or undo a situation that has already occurred so no amount of overthinking will change the past. It's important to remind yourself
that the worst-case scenarios rarely happen. Usually, things turn out much
better than we had anticipated. Furthermore, even if the worst-case scenario happens,
you WILL get through it! We underestimate our abilities to handle difficult
situations but we are much more resilient than we give ourselves credit to.
If overthinking is due to some concern over a future event, here are a few tips(By Josephine Lombardi, Theologian)
2. Worry cannot change anything. Worrying can't cause something to
happen and it cannot prevent something from happening; it is useless. Sometimes
overthinking is due to worry regarding the thoughts of others. Over attachment
to the thoughts of others or the desire to please can lead to overthinking.
Again, fear is at the root of this overthinking. It takes courage to be
detached, risking criticism, especially if you have spoken truthfully.
3. Examine what you know-what are the facts regarding your
current situation?
Meditation has
helped people clear their minds and help them focus on the good things of life,
if you are also an overthinker and nothing else has worked for you, you must
try meditation. Overthinking can be reduced by engaging in a pleasurable task.
By focusing your thoughts inward, you can help rid your mind of nervous noise
by developing a daily meditation practice.
Distraction is one
of the best possible ways to get away with things. If you have a habit of
overthinking, you can start surfing your time in other fruitful activities like
reading a book, cooking, painting, and many more.
Even just writing out your thoughts can feel therapeutic and allows you to get
it out of your head. Seeing your thoughts may help
you think and understand more clearly. Let yourself feel
your emotions. Sometimes we’re overthinking to find a new explanation for a
stressful life event, an argument, or just a tough situation. We’re searching
for answers and protection from emotional vulnerability. Allowing yourself to
express those emotions, to cry or yell, might help you move forward and clear
your head.
(RELATED: How to Program your brain to think Success?)
Concluding: 'How to stop overthinking?'
It is said that your
thoughts become your reality so it’s best to let go of regret and fears of the unknown and do whatever you can to push yourself
to try to live in the moment. As rightly stated by Jon Kabat-Zinn "I can't stop the waves, but I can
learn to surf." Lastly, train yourself and your brain to avoid doing so.
You have to make a conscious effort to train your mind to stop overthinking all
the situations. It is not that easy but possible.
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